Come with me, my love. To the sea, the sea of love. I want to tell you, how much I love you.Sea of Love – Cat Power
I know Cat Power isn’t the orginal artist of Sea of Love, but I have to admit, it’s the version I like the most.
The other day I had a couple people ask me when I was going to write on my blog again since it’s been a while and I replied “I guess when I feel inspired.” Well….I feel inspired.
Just when I think I have a handle on my self confidence and self worth, the Universe gently pushes me to make sure. And sometimes, I pass the test with flying colors and other times, not so much. I revert back into my old self – I’ll get flustered, reactionary, and/or upset. My self confidence drops, my mind starts going a mile a minute and I feel like shit. At the same time the Universe is testing me, it also presents me with some guidance and help.
The situation that has caused me to feel this way right now doesn’t matter, but the feelings and emotions it brings up in me do and it affects my relationship with Josh. And that’s just unacceptable to me. This morning, I logged on to one of the sober forums I’m a member of and came across a post someone wrote. It was an exercise to write yourself a love letter. Perfect. This is exactly what I need. I need to snap myself out of this bullshit and I need to do it myself.
Before I began the exercise, I pictured myself standing in a room with soft lighting and imagined that I was looking at myself from an outside view. I just started writing, the words flowed out me without any real awareness of what I was writing until I read it back to myself. I read it and re-read it and now I want to share it with you…
If you could only see yourself the way I see you. Full of love and compassion. A girl with a fighting spirit, whose resilience and strength is unyielding. When I look into your eyes, I see a girl who has fire in her soul that needs to express it. I see a girl who loves spontaneous adventure yet holds herself back, doubts herself, and who doesn’t see the beauty, the sparkle, and the magic within her like I do. You are a beautiful, old soul who is wise beyond her years. You are on the right path to live an extraordinary life. Don’t be afraid of yourself. Don’t exhaust yourself, tear yourself down, or compare yourself to others on this journey of self growth. Don’t dismiss how far you’ve come in life and the incredible transformation you’ve experienced already. The only one you need to compare yourself to is the girl in the mirror. Are you a better version of that girl today than you were yesterday? I can tell you that answer is always yes. Instead of trying to catch lightning in a bottle, realize you are the lightning – dynamic, bright, powerful, electric, and playful. Know that you are worthy and deserving and know that I love you.
If you have the time and the means I highly recommend you try this exercise. It’s something about writing it down on paper that truly brings it to life and can help remind you of who you are and what you have to offer the world. ♡