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New Blog Post! It's been a minute since I've written for bsoberbhappy. Check it out a bsoberbhappy.com

Thank you to my dear friend in sobriety Lori, and Angie for having me on their podcast to tell my story. Very honored to be one of your guests, and I had a great time! You can find them on Instagram and Facebook at @getconnectedaf and getconnectedaf.com. Get Connected AF is an Alcohol-Free support community for women. They host amazing retreats and provide support to any woman wanting to journey into sobriety.

I celebrated 4 years sober on Oct 1st. I haven't written in my blog in 2 years and I haven't posted on Instagram in forever. I have gotten to a pllace where being sober is just an aspect of my life and not the center of it. But,. life has been extremely stressful especially in the past few weeks. The day of my 4 year mark, I didn't feel like I deserved to celebrate. My boyfriend bought me beautiful flowers and said he was proud of me. My friends congratulated me. But the past few weeks all I've wanted to do was numb out and escape. I haven't had that feeling in a very long time. It took me a few days and a session with my therapist to realize, no matter how much time you have under your belt, there will be sometimes where you feel like you want to escape. But it's how you choose to deal with that feeling that's important. Even if the only thing keeping me from drinking was the fact that I didn't want to have to reset my time to day 1. 99% of the time I don't think or care about alcohol even going back to working in the restaurant industry part time (at first it was triggering but now I'm not bothered). But these past few weeks were a struggle. But I didn't drink. And that's a big deal. And I did deserve to celebrate and feel good about that accomplishment. So, here's to 4 years and counting.

1,301 days and counting. Took this photo yesterday so happy sober Saturday and Sunday everybody lol

There have been times in my life that have stolen a part of my soul - abandonment, neglect, betrayal, sexual assaults, substance abuse, heartbreak, loss, life-impacting health issues, mental health challenges - each one dimmed that sparkle inside of me little by little until I felt like I was simply existing in life. Putting on a mask to show the world and my loved ones. I had to muster every ounce of energy I had, to display self-confidence, self-acceptance, and self-love. It was exhausting because it wasn't coming from an authentic place. I tried for so long but I couldn't. Until now. I'm 3 years and (almost) 6 months sober and counting which was one of the biggest and most transformative moments of my life. And this year I've doubled down with other aspects of my life. I reached a point this year where I no longer was comfortable being uncomfortable. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I had simply accepted that things were the way they were and I was never going to be able to be in a position where I could change them. But something was in alignment this year. I've made decisions for myself in the past few weeks that will change the course of my life in ways that I never imagined. The confidence I finally feel within myself shines. I find myself smiling for no particular reason (and smiling more genuinely than I have in a very long time). I'm laughing more freely. I've found myself again. I finally found the girl inside me who I thought would never truly come back - whose eyes sparkle, who bounces when she walks, who feels confident and sexy in her skin, and who speaks her mind. I am rediscovering aspects of myself that I thought were long gone and it feels incredible. 💕

Day 1258, coming up on 1300. I don't know why but the rounded-up numbers like 500, 1000, 1100, 1200, etc. Make me feel a little extra happy 😄 happy sober Saturday!.

3 years, 5 months, 1 day. Also decided to try and be a girl who actually puts in the time to do her makeup 🤣

So a day late and using a picture I took back in August but I hit a major milestone - 3 years sober!! I truly cannot believe it. It's very surreal. Never did I think this was possible. I woke up on the morning of Oct 1 2018 hungover with no memory of half the night before completely exhausted. My body, mind, and soul had hit rock bottom and I made one of the most terrifying decisions Ive ever made that morning - to stop drinking. In my soul I knew I was done but I wasn't sure if I could really do it. And here I am three years later, thriving in so many ways. I no longer think about alcohol everyday and I no longer wish to reach for a drink on a bad day. I got through some of the worst losses sober and I celebrated the best moments sober. 3 years ago, I would have laughed and rolled my eyes, thinking in no way would I ever in a million years remove alcohol from my life. But I did it and can tell you it is possible if it's something you truly want. You have to make that commitment to yourself everyday, find others who will support you, and believe in yourself. And know that I believe in you. 💜

It's a gorgeous morning. Light breeze, 73°, I can hear the waves of the ocean crashing on the shore, feel the warm of the sun on my legs, and smell the delicious aroma of my coffee.....day 1085, 11 days away from 3 years sober and I am so grateful.

Day 901 in the books 🤍✌

Hope everyone had a nice Valentine's Day yesterday! 💕

Repost from @drop_the_bottle_

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