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Tag: Sobriety

Full of Thanks for Thanksgiving

November 19, 2019November 30, 2019 ~ brookeashley ~ Leave a comment

I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life. Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life. Push the door, I'm home at last and I'm soaking through and through. Then you handed me a towel and all I see is you. And even … Continue reading Full of Thanks for Thanksgiving

Now I Have Everything To Lose

November 13, 2019October 3, 2020 ~ brookeashley ~ Leave a comment

Well, I know what's right. I got just one life. In a world that keeps on pushin' me around but I stand my ground and I won't back down.Won't Back Down - Tom Petty So, I have some exciting news! In addition to pursuing my doctorate degree in Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine, I've decided to … Continue reading Now I Have Everything To Lose

What Do I Know To Be True?

October 19, 2019July 21, 2020 ~ brookeashley ~ 1 Comment

I'm only happy when it rains. You wanna hear about my new obsession? I'm riding high upon a deep depression. I'm only happy when it rains.I'm Only Happy When It Rains - Garbage Tuesday, I had a therapy session that sparked a small revelation for me. I probably sound like a broken record but the … Continue reading What Do I Know To Be True?

THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FIVE DAYS IN A YEAR!!!!

October 1, 2019October 6, 2019 ~ brookeashley ~ Leave a comment

What a feeling, being's believing.I can have it all, now I'm dancing for my life. Take your passion and make it happen. Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life.Flashdance...What a Feeling - Irene Cara October 1 2018 vs October 1 2019 I had my last drink sometime between midnight and 2am on … Continue reading THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FIVE DAYS IN A YEAR!!!!

Wait Until You’re Ready and You’ll Be Waiting Forever

September 26, 2019October 6, 2019 ~ brookeashley ~ Leave a comment

It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now and you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a … Continue reading Wait Until You’re Ready and You’ll Be Waiting Forever

The Girl I Thought I Lost

September 21, 2019October 6, 2019 ~ brookeashley ~ Leave a comment

In the warmer light of day, I will resurrect my faith. I'll scream out loud while demons that I chase strike me down without a warning but I will win this morning.Early in the Morning - Rob Thomas I'm not going to lie. I have been emotionally rough and unstable this past week - and … Continue reading The Girl I Thought I Lost

When Life Taps You on the Shoulder and Reminds You…

September 16, 2019November 30, 2019 ~ brookeashley ~ Leave a comment

I'll survive you even with all these wounds. I'm alright, I'll undue all of the damage you've done to my life. That's right. You're not going to see me cry. I'll survive you.I'll Survive You - BC Jean Saturday started out as an incredible day! Normally, I would set up the scene but I'm going … Continue reading When Life Taps You on the Shoulder and Reminds You…

Alcohol Isn’t Magic and Won’t Make Your Problems Disappear

September 12, 2019October 6, 2019 ~ brookeashley ~ Leave a comment

Now I can sit and watch the time fly. I'll feel better when tears have gone by. I'll never again be blind sided by fate. The future will have to wait. I only have time for today as long as I can delay making a plan.Making A Plan - Semisonic I've started my second year … Continue reading Alcohol Isn’t Magic and Won’t Make Your Problems Disappear

Eleven Incredible Sober Months

September 1, 2019September 12, 2019 ~ brookeashley ~ 1 Comment

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting. Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear. Here comes the sun. Here comes the sun, and I sayIt's all right.Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles Today. Sunday, September 1, 2019. 11 Months Sober. A year of sobriety is just around the corner. … Continue reading Eleven Incredible Sober Months

Let’s Be Honest: The Little Girl Lies

August 24, 2019September 9, 2019 ~ brookeashley ~ 1 Comment

Got a secret, can you keep it? Swear, this one you'll save. Better lock it in your pocket. Takin' this one to the grave.The Pierces When I quit drinking, being honest with people was something I basically needed to relearn. From the time I started drinking until the time I stopped, I lied about almost … Continue reading Let’s Be Honest: The Little Girl Lies

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I celebrated 4 years sober on Oct 1st. I haven't written in my blog in 2 years and I haven't posted on Instagram in forever. I have gotten to a pllace where being sober is just an aspect of my life and not the center of it. But,. life has been extremely stressful especially in the past few weeks. The day of my 4 year mark, I didn't feel like I deserved to celebrate. My boyfriend bought me beautiful flowers and said he was proud of me. My friends congratulated me. But the past few weeks all I've wanted to do was numb out and escape. I haven't had that feeling in a very long time. It took me a few days and a session with my therapist to realize, no matter how much time you have under your belt, there will be sometimes where you feel like you want to escape. But it's how you choose to deal with that feeling that's important. Even if the only thing keeping me from drinking was the fact that I didn't want to have to reset my time to day 1. 99% of the time I don't think or care about alcohol even going back to working in the restaurant industry part time (at first it was triggering but now I'm not bothered). But these past few weeks were a struggle. But I didn't drink. And that's a big deal. And I did deserve to celebrate and feel good about that accomplishment. So, here's to 4 years and counting.
1,301 days and counting. Took this photo yesterday so happy sober Saturday and Sunday everybody lol
There have been times in my life that have stolen a part of my soul - abandonment, neglect, betrayal, sexual assaults, substance abuse, heartbreak, loss, life-impacting health issues, mental health challenges - each one dimmed that sparkle inside of me little by little until I felt like I was simply existing in life. Putting on a mask to show the world and my loved ones. I had to muster every ounce of energy I had, to display self-confidence, self-acceptance, and self-love. It was exhausting because it wasn't coming from an authentic place. I tried for so long but I couldn't. Until now. I'm 3 years and (almost) 6 months sober and counting which was one of the biggest and most transformative moments of my life. And this year I've doubled down with other aspects of my life. I reached a point this year where I no longer was comfortable being uncomfortable. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I had simply accepted that things were the way they were and I was never going to be able to be in a position where I could change them. But something was in alignment this year. I've made decisions for myself in the past few weeks that will change the course of my life in ways that I never imagined. The confidence I finally feel within myself shines. I find myself smiling for no particular reason (and smiling more genuinely than I have in a very long time). I'm laughing more freely. I've found myself again. I finally found the girl inside me who I thought would never truly come back - whose eyes sparkle, who bounces when she walks, who feels confident and sexy in her skin, and who speaks her mind. I am rediscovering aspects of myself that I thought were long gone and it feels incredible. 💕
Day 1258, coming up on 1300. I don't know why but the rounded-up numbers like 500, 1000, 1100, 1200, etc. Make me feel a little extra happy 😄 happy sober Saturday!.
3 years, 5 months, 1 day. Also decided to try and be a girl who actually puts in the time to do her makeup 🤣
So a day late and using a picture I took back in August but I hit a major milestone - 3 years sober!! I truly cannot believe it. It's very surreal. Never did I think this was possible. I woke up on the morning of Oct 1 2018 hungover with no memory of half the night before completely exhausted. My body, mind, and soul had hit rock bottom and I made one of the most terrifying decisions Ive ever made that morning - to stop drinking. In my soul I knew I was done but I wasn't sure if I could really do it. And here I am three years later, thriving in so many ways. I no longer think about alcohol everyday and I no longer wish to reach for a drink on a bad day. I got through some of the worst losses sober and I celebrated the best moments sober. 3 years ago, I would have laughed and rolled my eyes, thinking in no way would I ever in a million years remove alcohol from my life. But I did it and can tell you it is possible if it's something you truly want. You have to make that commitment to yourself everyday, find others who will support you, and believe in yourself. And know that I believe in you. 💜
It's a gorgeous morning. Light breeze, 73°, I can hear the waves of the ocean crashing on the shore, feel the warm of the sun on my legs, and smell the delicious aroma of my coffee.....day 1085, 11 days away from 3 years sober and I am so grateful.
Day 901 in the books 🤍✌
Hope everyone had a nice Valentine's Day yesterday! 💕
Repost from @drop_the_bottle_
We are a little more than halfway thru January and I am ecstatic at where I am in terms of self-care and development. I've been working out everyday and have totally changed my eating habits to only nutrient dense whole foods (no added sugar, no dairy, no processed, etc). I've been meditating every day, created a sleep schedule that has me feeling rested in the morning, and have done a lot of introspective work. Everything is falling in line and all of these changes are compliment my sobriety - I'm learning how to be my authentic self. There is still a lot more work to do but I'm already noticing amazing shifts. I feel better than I have in a very long time and I can't wait to see where this journey continues to take me.
Goodbye 2020. I am making some radical changes in 2021 - nutrition, sleep, self-cultivation practices, exercise, all of it. 2020 was a complete dumpster fire yet I had some big revelations about self destructive patterns that weren't even apparent to me until a few days ago. They were patterns that weren't outright harmful but over time they prevent me from being my best self. I know "they" say you shouldn't tackle everything all at once because it can be overwhelming but I'm going all in because I can'tgo forward until I do. So, here's to a new start, a new beginning, and a new journey of self-awareness and cultivation.

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